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At the lakeside beneath elder

around bracken, oak, lime

horseflies feasting on me sallow pins

abdomens judiciously popped between fingers

or else squashed into innards, halteres,

frons, forewings – the bitches! –  

compound eyes, mouthparts

it is not for I to deliver

the proteins required for

your egg growth!, fleshy labium,

wretched proboscis, you bloody vectors

of bloody blood-borne disease

leaving crisp yellow peaks in place

of their former bodies

the flowers were wonderful in bloom around

the air sodden with their blessed nose 

heady as gobfuls of scotch

I felt almost delirious

felt myself clenched for sugars

what would the dream be?

it would end, I’m certain,

in apologetic kissing

scrabbling for each other’s hands

as though they were bannisters of normalcy

until our palms were scratched

please just kiss me quietly

and I stared for familiar faces and saw none

and I moved myself very close

in towards her body and felt her breath

her chest rising

felt the fine hairs on her arms

hoped she would catch me from adrift

when I closed my eyes

her hair alive over or with the elderflowers

until she was gone

receding along the track with friends

I wiped the middle and fore-fingers of my

left hand on the thighs of my chinos and

stuck them to the back of my throat

felt the rasp of the air-dry skin on my soft palate

and I puked lunch up

the dry earth worn to sand

escaping gases as one with the birdsong

there were tears on my face

and I wiped my mouth and felt strings

of thick mucus drawn in webs across it

though out of sight I ran after her

would keep on running for

no track is of endless distance.