fortune cookie fortunes

Here is a list of fortune cookie fortunes:

1. There is a time to be practical – now.
2. You go forth to fortunate betters.
3. Your future will be defining.
4. Pure luck is a statistical no-no.
5. Every way beats which way like rock beats scissors.
6. Go fuck yourself.

Although only one of them is a genuine fortune cookie fortune, it nonetheless inspired me to have a range of "Idiot Child Fortune Cookies" made, each of which would feature an inspirational one-line quip from our favourite idiot child: The Idiot Child. The fortunes could say things like "Suck my tiny cock you dead moron", and "Fuck your needs and hopes".

All in all I think it'd make for some pretty funny fortune cookies.

I found a company online whose sole provided service is to make fortune cookies with fortunes of your choosing. I'll have to find out if they'll do them smeared with the expletives that are so integral to the Idiot Child's unique insight.

Although I'm sure no one would want to buy the Idiot Child Fortune Cookies it still seems like a good thing to do with all the time and money required for the project. They would make great gifts for friends and loved ones.