SGSS(pmsc)AS(u)

As an enterprising youth I founded the Steyning Grammar School Satsuma (plus misc. small citrus) Appreciation Society (unofficial) with a handful or dumb peers. We sat in our form room at lunchtimes and consumed our respective fruits communally, exchanging segments for critique and – as the name would suggest – appreciation. Though our tastes varied slightly we mostly agreed on the importance of the key characteristics of: (moist) texture, (profound) juiciness, (pleasing) tartness and (appropriate) sweetness. As time progressed a cursory examination of the unopened fruit would yield impressively accurate results relating to the assumed quality of same, i.e. (and to generalise slightly, though not greatly) a loose and saggy skin was all-too-often synonymous with a dry and tasteless fruit; a firm taut skin requiring patient devotion and some effort to peel properly was, conversely, synonymous with a high quality fruit adhering to all the characteristics required (by consensus) for an exceptional citrus experience; an excess of pips present segment-for-segment was – despite the obvious frustrations associated therewith, especially in the smaller fruits – immediately suggestive of the sound flavours the Society actively sought. Fingers sticky and bellies full, the lunch hours passed in a reverie of social consumption, our record-keeping protocols and ever-increasingly sophisticated critiquing mechanisms wasted on the hostility of the classroom. The conclusions I drew were much the same as those I apply to my writing and to my general life today, namely: one must work for a taste of the good stuff.

My passion for fruit dates back to this time if not before.

We are none of us friends now.